sleep is hard to come upon when you have a guilty conscience

I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye 

I may never get the opportunity to express my feelings, my reasons for my choices, and the regrets that have come with the results. I can only say so many times that I am human and I make mistakes when the fact of the matter is that when you make mistakes, you must first mourn the consequences of your actions before you can pick yourself back up and force yourself to move on.

I loved you guys and I will never have friendships like the ones we shared. I may be proud on the exterior, when I feel jaded--but my shield only lasts for as long as I can keep telling myself that I have a right to be mad. After that, my emotions succumb to the sadness that comes with losing, dare I say it, best friends. These mistakes that I've made to my life are as preventable deaths are to the medical world. And though I know my apology will never be enough, though I know that the damage that's been done has now become untreatable, I still lie in my bed at night wishing that I could have rescued our friendships from the debris that were my high school years.